One thing I’m learning more and more in my business is that succeeding as an entrepreneur happens mostly in the mind. I’m actually willing to bet that 90% of someone’s success (including my own and yours) has mostly to do with what happens in one’s head.

Yes, of course, there are always things like bad luck, sickness, recessions, natural disasters, etc. And I don’t mean to discount those at all and say that you just need to “get past it”. But I know that hard times fall on everyone, and how you choose to deal with those things can change everything - for the better or for the worse.

I’ve built up my business in the past few years, and I’m happy with where I’m at right now. I can’t wait to see what happens next year and the year after! And although I’ve made a ton of mistakes and stumbled more times than a toddler that needs a nap, the biggest reason I’m where I am now is because I stood up to my fears.

I definitely have nights where my eyes are glued open looking at the ceiling, because I’m terrified of the things I have to do tomorrow.

I 100% get the sweats and question if I’m even any good, every single time I press “Send”, “Publish”, “Post” “Go live” etc.

And I’ve gone through weeks where a little voice at the back of my mind whispers, “I don’t think I’m cut out for this. Maybe I should just go work for someone else.”

I’m insecure about my business too! There are moments when I get scared and unsure, just like every single other business owner out there (if you say you’ve never gone through this… be honest!)

But I truly believe the reason I’ve gotten to where I am is not because I’m a harder worker, or smarter, or have some innate talents. Nope. I think that most of my success has come from learning to feel my fears, accept them, and then push past them no matter how icky, terrifying, and uncomfortable that feels.

I wanted to share this personal blog post about some of the things I’ve learned about controlling fear in my business. If business success starts in the mind, then fear is the dangerous enemy that gets in our way. It prevents us from taking action, it makes us question everything, and if we let it, it will steal away the happiness and freedom of working for ourselves.

If you’ve ever struggled with fear as a beauty business owner, I hope that this will help make you feel more confident and less alone!

Confidence doesn’t come naturally, it comes afterwards

For most people, confidence doesn’t come naturally. The people you think are oozing confidence and are getting shit done in their business and taking names… had to work at it.

We tend to think that other business owners have an innate confidence, and that confidence gives them the energy to create amazing initiatives, try new things, grow their teams, take risks. But actually it’s the opposite.

I’ve learned that the more I’m disciplined about my business, the more I do things and work consistently despite feeling insecure and lazy (lots of laziness is just insecurity masked as not wanting to do things - we don’t want to do things because we're scared!)… the more my confidence grows.

I’ve learned that I have to do things that I’m terrified of doing, and only in doing that does my confidence grow slowly but surely.

For example. I’ve been doing weekly Facebook lives since January of this year. I interview beauty business owners and industry experts and educators. So many of my guests and even some people who watch say “you’re a natural on video!” I’m like… what? The first 10 times I went live I wanted to throw up before pressing the “live” button!

The only way that gained confidence on video, or in any other place in my business where I struggled, was by just doing it, and then slowly over time feel better about it and less insecure.

Feeling afraid and insecure is normal, and it’s usually temporary

There are always things in our businesses that we know we should be doing, but we’re not doing them out of fear. Whether that’s utilizing new techniques and skills, upgrading training, promoting ourselves more, being more present on social media and in our marketing, growing our team… the list of things we’ve gotta do is loooong.

I personally find that when there’s something I should be doing but I’m not, I’m procrastinating for a reason: I’m scared to do this new thing. I’m scared I won’t be good at it. I’m worried I’m going to fall flat on my face and people around me are going to point a laugh.

Okay, that’s a little dramatic, but our “lizard brains” (the part of our brain that’s trying to protect us) have a particular fear of social rejection. And often when I think "worst case scenario” about my fears, my worst case scenario is some form of “people won’t like me, they’ll think I’m not good enough, and they’ll think I’m ridiculous”.

I’m still very afraid of failing, and of being rejected. But one thing that I’ve actually become pretty good at is recognizing my fear and naming it. I’ve come to realize that every single business owner out there deal with insecurity and feeling down about their business. And that makes me feel 10 times better.

I also know that when I’m feeling really low about my business, it’s probably only going to last for a week or two, and then things will get better. Something great will happen, someone will encourage me, and my confidence is back.

Knowing that we’re not in this alone, and that everyone gets these feelings is such a relief.

Focus on who you’re helping instead of focussing on yourself

When imposter syndrome creeps in, and you wonder “Am I even good enough to be doing this? So many people are so much better than me!” I have a reality check to give you: you’re too much in your own head, and you need to stop thinking so much about yourself!

Seriously! I know it’s harsh but it’s true. I have to remind myself of this constantly. I’m a teacher - I teach Facebook and Instagram advertising to beauty business owners - and I go through phases where I question if I’m good enough to be teaching what I am. Am I a good teacher? Am I getting my students results? If I don’t know how to do something, does that mean I’m incompetent?

When those doubts start to creep in, and I’m feeling unsure of myself, I try to stop my brain from running away and firmly but lovingly tell myself:

"Stephanie, it’s not about you. Your students need help. Your future students need help. You can’t deprive them of that. Think about what they need and want! Stop thinking about yourself"

And I can tell you, that usually makes me snap out of my negative thoughts in a split second.

I was at a business conference recently where Rachel Hollis was one of the speakers. She said something that made me think of this. She said: “We’re not afraid of failing. We’re afraid of them watching us fail. So it’s not really about fear. It’s about ego. But you need to get over yourself!”

Rachel was exactly right. We need to stop putting our egos in the way of helping people. You’re a beauty business owner because you love making your clients feel beautiful, confident, and special. Don’t let you insecurities get in the way of showing up for your clients the way they deserve.

Stop obsessing over what other people are doing

I noticed that this is quite a trigger for me, something that can often lead me into a loop of self-doubt: Comparing myself to other business owners. Ugh!

It’s soooo tempting to check out our competitors’ Instagram account, to scroll through the photos and videos from other business owners, and to see how they’re so much better! More followers, better engagement, more clients, better photos and more skills.

If you’ve ever spent more than 5 minutes obsessing over other business’ social media accounts, this has probably happened to you. You don’t feel inspired, excited, or energetic after spending way too much time on their Youtube channel or Instagram. Instead, you feel tired, lazy, and just kind of “blah”.

That’s no coincidence. Comparison really is the thief of joy. The more you look at what other businesses are doing, and subconsciously compare yourself to them, the worse you’ll feel about your own business. I wish I had scientific data to back me up on this, but I promise I’ve noticed it for myself dozens of times.

So what’s the solution to this comparison-itis? Simple. Turn it off! Put your blinders on, don’t look at their social media accounts, and if you do find yourself on there, just click away. You don’t need to do competitive research, you don’t need to get inspired. You need to focus on your own stuff, and this is just a harmful distraction.

When you’re feeling unsure, just take action! It cures everything

If after reading all of this you’re thinking, “These are just mind tricks, Stephanie. I’m a real, practical person. I need to figure out how to get un-stuck!” Then here’s my advice for you:

If you’re unsure about what to do next, if you’re feeling stuck and feel like you’re procrastinating on something because you’re worried it won’t work out… just take action. Any action.

The worst thing you can do is sit on your hands and wonder and obsess about what to do next. Action brings results, and results bring confidence. The more confident you feel, the more new things you’ll want to do for building your business. It’s a snowball effect, and it simply starts with doing something.

If you want to run an event at your salon, but you’re worried no one will come, start with putting together a guest list.

If you want to add a new service, but you feel like you’re not good enough, practise for one hour today. Practise on your friend, take photos, and post them on social media asking your followers for their feedback.

If you want to run a promotion, but you’re not sure whether it will go over well, send an email to your client list asking if they’d be interested.

You don’t have to take the one big step all together. Often times it’s those small first steps that will give us the positive feedback we need to take the next step and the next.

Before I end this blog post, I wanted to share two quick things that I’ve done when I’m feeling scared, insecure, and lacking confidence in my business. Try out these two things and I think you’ll get a big rush of good feelings that will push you through.

Instant confidence boost #1: Look through your old “business yearbooks”

When I feel like I’m not doing great at my job, I’ve screwed up, I’ve let someone down or let myself down… it can be a pretty aggressive downward spiral.

I can let it go on for quite a long time, complaining to my boyfriend about how things didn’t turn out how I wanted. I feel tired and uninspired, questioning every decision I make.

It’s not a place I want to stay in for a long time. But I’ve found a couple ways to snap myself out of it.

This first one’s particularly handy when I feel like I’m not doing my best work. When I set a goal for myself and didn’t reach it, or when things don’t turn out how I hoped. “I’m just not good at what I do! I don’t even know if I’m cut out for this!”

The dark figure of imposter syndrome has knocked at your door. And the feeling is pretty crummy.

If you’ve ever said this to yourself, I invite you to dust off your old business yearbooks and take a walk down memory lane. What do I mean by that? Look back at your business and your work from 1 or 2 years ago, and you’ll get an instant reminder of just how far you’ve come, and how much you’ve improved.

For me, that means looking back at my old videos, blog posts, emails, client work, etc. For you, that might mean scrolling back through your Instagram posts to see your hair, nail, lash etc photos from a couple years ago.

Bam! You’ll instantly be hit with this weird mix of: "Damn! That’s kind of embarrassing that I thought I was so good back then” and “Wow, I’m soooo much better than I used to be!”

That hit of mixed emotions is like a warm bowl of chicken soup to ease your insecurities. When I look back at my old stuff, I’m reminded that even if I’m not where I want to be yet, in a year from now I’m going to be sooo much better at everything. No, I’m not perfect, but I’m constantly improving, and I’m better than I used to be.

It’s a cheesy saying but it’s true: the only one you’re in competition with is yourself.

Instant confidence boost #2: Peak at your reviews

Here’s another super simple but powerful confidence hack when you’re feeling down:

Step 1: Open up Google My Business, Yelp, or Facebook, and scroll through your 5 star client reviews.

Step 2: Bask in the glow of knowing that your clients love you, value you, and appreciate you.

That’s it! It may seem superficial, but when I’m feeling unsure about myself, it’s honestly something I do. Sometimes it really helps to be reminded of just how much people appreciate you, and reviews from your clients are the pinnacle of them showing how much they care.

I had someone tell me she does this with kind emails that her clients send her. She saves them all into a folder to look back at later. I love this idea!

So if you’re feeling insecure and unsure of yourself, please do these two instant confidence boosts now and I promise you’ll already start to feel so much better!

In conclusion

When I first started working for myself, I used to think that feeling scared about growing my business was a weakness. I just assumed that every other entrepreneur out there had an innate confidence, and that would help them be successful.

Since working with and meeting countless other business owners, I’ve realized that this is completely false. First of all, every single one of us battles fear on a daily basis. Second, you can have a wildly successful business, even when you’re feeling insecure and fearful. You just have to make sure that your fear doesn’t get in the way of your growing your business.

Like the title of a book I once read: “Feel the fear, and do it anyway!”